[x]

I drawThe sounds of piano music fill my room
so sad, yet beautiful...

I wish I could play the piano too..
But my memory is too fragile to remember the notes and meaning of them

My eyes are glued on the blank paper on the table in front of me
there's a pencil that I'm holding in my hand
The paper is blank
blank as I feel my head to be on that moment
Nothing comes in, and nothing goes out

I remember small things
some details from here and there
But I can't remember much how it felt like to be a child
and be happy
to feel innocent

I just remember the bad things mostly
How I got humiliated many times during the elementary school
or

SometimesSometimes
I just stare my computer's screen blankly
the headphones are on my ears
but the song has ended already five minutes ago
I just stare at the screen
and wonder how did I end up like this

Sometimes
I just stare to the emptiness
the teacher is talking
but I can't understand what he means
I just stare the blackboard
and wonder why I'm here

Sometimes
when I'm sitting in bus
I just stare the road
the songs are coming out of the headphones that are on my ears
but I ignore the words
and wonder who I actually am

Sometimes
when I'm lying on my bed
I start to question my own existence
Why would such a thing as randomness

EI and the deal my dad offered me [edit]thefuk is this??
can only be fulfilled through my feminine (or masculine) qualities and attributes
so God can't fulfill the life of a sensitive, empathetic man or an assertive woman?

oh the sexism
Exodus International is a "christian" organization dedicated to "helping" gay christians overcome their same-sex attractions and live a "godly lifestyle" instead of living in accordance to their natural sexual orientation. they have a distorted view on nature, sexuality, what it means to be a man or a woman (or any combination of the two), and even much of the Bible itself
their current mission statement: Mobilizing the body of Christ to minister grace and truth to a world impacted by homosexuality. at a first glance it seems to imply their efforts lean towards "curing" people of their homosexuality (their slogan used to say "change is possible!") however

Transgender poemThere's a stranger in mirror looking back at me now
I see her face and she looks back at me now
I don't know who she is but it seems so right
I know shes me but shes lost inside
Only when i look in the mirror can i see her real face
Shes been lost and scared for too long
She wears a mask to hide from the world of hate
She will be called hateful words like "Fag" and "Freak"
She scrams she wants to be free
But shes scared of what she will see
She just want's to be like the other girls
With her little dress and a bow
Maybe one day she will be free
Tell then she will just look back at me in the mirror

Trans Locker Rooms"..policy from Washington State University that has addressed this issue apparently with great success:
"Locker Room and Restroom Accessibility:Transgender individuals shall not be forced to use the locker room correspondingto their gender assigned at birth. In locker rooms that involve undressing in frontof others, transgender individuals who want to use the locker room in accordancewith the individual's consistently asserted gender identity will be provided with theavailable accommodation that best meets the needs and privacy concerns of allinvolved. Based on availability and appropriateness to address privacyconcerns, such accommodations

MaleI am aggressive, I am strong, I am defiant, I am loud, I am polite, I am courteous, I am smart, I am strong willed—

My heart is pounding with every word that I type upon this page. Forgive me for any pauses...

I am a dog lover, I am a male lover, I am a human lover, I am a world lover, I am a
knowledge lover, I am a language lover, I am a nature lover—

I like to play with dolls, I like to play with footballs (soccer), I like to play with stuffed animals, I like to play with dirt, I like to play with my dog, I love to play dress up, I like to play rough—

My friends are mostly male, I feel male, I feel I fit in with males,

Not Trans EnoughNo, no I'm not alright.

I thought I was okay when I thought I got over them. I thought everything was fine when I thought I knew who I was, but then they come in and tell me who I am and who I'm supposed to be.
But low, I'm not even Trans* enough.

I'm not Trans* enough because I'm apprehensive about taking T.

I'm not Trans* enough because I'm not constantly ogling over girls.

I'm not Trans* enough because I like to wear dresses from time to time.

I'm not Trans* enough because I don't work out at the gym.

I'm not Trans* enough because I like to Sew and Bake.

I'm not Trans* enough because I didn't 'come out' when I was 3.

I'm not Trans

I will TransformI have a confession
A secret
Of sorts

It's not a joke
A phase
Or a hope

I had a scared thought
So long ago now
Judgment and fear

It intrigued me
On new levels
Of sensation and change

I feel as though I am trapped
Perhaps here
Or perhaps in life

I want to admit now
That I am changing
To better my survival

My body may be foreign
With these God-awful breasts and hips
But I can transform

That's what I do

I have a confession
A secret
Of sorts

I am a human
Perhaps you can't see
But I promise you'll find I don't lie

Gender is beneath me
I want to be free
I will transform

Just wait and you'll see.

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More from ~MinZki

Awkward friendi know i made mistakes
a lot of them
i know that you hate me now
but believe me when i say
that i wasn't planning to hurt you

i said stupid things twice
did something awkward
and ruined our friendship
i turned my coat and changed the opinion
i tried to be someone else

i hope you understand
that building a friendship
isn't a piece of cake for me
it always ends up like this
i said weird things about you
because i wanted to look stronger
after you were gone
and i regret those words
more than anything

we can't speak to each other again
believe me, it's for your own good
my head might explode the next time i see you on the street
but please
pay

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[x]

Born this way

by ~MinZki, Aug 23, 2012, 12:14:27 PM
Literature / Poetry / Family Life / Free Verse

My head is spinning
the thoughts are running
my mind is twisting
and I've made up my mind

Dear daddy
I'm sorry
but your little princess
wants to be the prince

No more dresses and heels
no more gossip and giggles
no more straightening the blond hair
or mascara running down my face

No more.

My thoughts are running
I can't remember who I was
and who I was meant to be
but this is what I wanted
for so long

Dear mommy
I'm sorry
but your little prince
wants to be the princess now

No more boy's stuff
no more kid's plays of the war
no more watching how friends make a bad choices with girls
in front of my eyes

Just no more..

My memory is shattering
it's just a puzzle full of holes
I can't remember when I started it
or where's the last piece that would make me perfect for you

Dear parents
I'm sorry
so sorry
But I will not become what you thought I would be
I'm sorry daddy
but I will not marry a girl
I'm sorry mommy
but I will not get married with a guy

as you planned me to do

I've heard enough
I've seen enough
and I've said enough

Just remember
I've born like this