Drown

Do I believe in God?
...
No.
I don't believe in such a thing.
The idea that there is some old guy in clouds, just staring down at us and watching us taking showers, having sex and living our daily life makes it... Weird. Not worth of believing.

But if you asked me
that do I believe that here is some higher power up there
making all these galactic systems and stars and planets and other stuff work?
The answer is yes.
I do believe that it could be possible that there is some higher power up there, but it doesn't care one bit what happens to us humans.


Because were nothing but empty vessels for souls..

---

My eyes shot open and huge pain welcomed me back to reality. I was screaming. Hell, it hurt like someone was poking your lungs with hot needles.
I breathed heavily. My lungs hurt... And that's the moment when I realized it.

I was alive.

...
How the heck it was possible?
That old crazy man had drowned me into a fucking tub last night!
How was it possible that I was now facing huge pain in my lungs and my eyes were staring at the roof of the bathroom that was painted white...
What the heck had happened?


As moments passed, maybe an hour, I got myself up from the floor. My arm hurt, since my so called dad had twisted it to weird angle and now it was broken. My eyes hurt.. Why?
I walked towards the mirror to check them out, leaning against the wall while moving. Hell, it was so hard to move around because of my lungs.
My left arm grabbed the side of the sink and I leaned a bit against it.
As I spit some blood out of my mouth, I looked myself from the mirror. My nose was a bit blue, probably broken. There was some little bruises on my face and my hair was messy and wet. Water was still running down from my face, so my near death hadn't happened many hours ago.
Everything was a bit blurry, but the sight shot me like a morning sun straight to my eyes;
My eye color had changed. They were bloodshot and what used to be dark blue... Was now yellow. Bright, fucking, yellow. They were glowing a bit...
What the hell
What the freaking hell had happened?

There was loud walking noises coming behind the door of the bathroom. Someone was coming.. I didn't have time to think  about my eyes now, I had to act. If it was that crazy old man, I would be screwed.
Quickly, I hid behind the door and kept quiet. The footsteps were coming near..
Step. Step. Step. Step. Step...
And soon, I saw my 'dad' walk into the room and he surely was shocked that my dead body wasn't there. He started to talk to himself;
"No.. Not again."
Again... What was he talking about.
As he was going towards the bath tub, I quickly, but quietly sneaked out of the door. Sadly, the stairs of our house were old and they were creaking loudly by every step I took towards the downstairs.
... And I wasn't surprised when I got hit to my back and next thing I knew I was lying on the floor, at the bottom of the stairs.
I looked up and saw my dad, coming down. He wasn't fast... That's what you get when you drink beer every day and do nothing.

I managed to get up and hurried to the kitchen. Old man was shouting something after me, but my mind was too busy to recognize the words.
As I got into the kitchen, the first thing I saw was a knife. Big sized, like meat hammer... Without any word to myself, I took it.

And then...
I turned around.
And there he was
the man who had abused me for years
FOR NOTHING
I didn't kill my sister
it wasn't MY FAULT that mom left us
He just needed an excuse to the fact that he was trying to kill me last night
...
I hated him.
He wasn't my dad
just like he said.

"Now, now.. Put that knife down, Dam. There's no need to start the violence here," this man said. His voice was shaking and I felt my anger grow as I took a step closer.
Me? Starting the violence?
Bullshit.
And next, I remember how I took better grab from the knife
and everything after that...

Was wiped out of  my memory.